hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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