Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
