Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
