Fine. I'll sleep in my office
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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