Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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