Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
