I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
