Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am spending my child support on dildos
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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