just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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