Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
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I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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