I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I enjoy the company of your penis
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
