Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
