Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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