If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
