If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize