My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
