So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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