I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
