So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
