Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Randomize
