i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
We smell like vodka and hangover
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