i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize