i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
