We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
