4 words: hood of his car
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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