I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize