They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
