If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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