Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize