Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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