everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
