Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
