you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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