Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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