i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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