Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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