She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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