i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
