Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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