I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
two words: eviction party
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
