I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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