Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
