so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
