Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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