Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
