he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
