Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize