Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
