I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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