In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
