remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
