It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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