Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
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so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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