you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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