Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
