I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
