So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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