And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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