There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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