eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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